Freitag, 30. September 2016

"leave you alone" - the art of spending time on your own

When was the last time you spent time on your own? 
Not the time you was watching Netflix or read a book at home. I mean when was the last time you were really enjoying your leisure completely alone - in public? 

Most people feel really uncomfortable doing activities on their own. Unless it's the gym or other obligations you try to avoid spending time alone in public. Why do people feel so much better if they are in presence of friends? Why is it considered to be "awkward" if you decide to visit certain places on your own without anybody to share the experience?

People are insecure. Being afraid of spending time alone is nothing but insecurity about yourself. You are scared to be exposed to your own thoughts while, potentially, others might be watching. 
A big fact that rules our mind wherever we go is that we are constantly thinking that people do recognize us. 

You stumbled over that little stone in the park? Omg, all the 30 people around you must be taking the piss out of you.
You dropped your food while hurrying to the train? Can't you see all the guys laughing at you? 

In reality, things are way more different than we assume. Humans tend to take themselves much too seriously and therefore actually only care about themselves. Sure, we also find ourselves observing people on the street or laughing about funny, awkward situations. Three seconds later, we won't care anymore.

So back to the issue. In order to learn loving ourselves we sometimes must get ourselves out of the comfort zone. Spending time on our own makes us more aware of what we like, what inspires us, makes us more attentive. If we don't have to pay attention to our company, we will be able to grasp a lot more of our environment than before. 

Don't get me wrong - people need to have company. Studies of the Chicago University have shown that loneliness causes illness and makes us unhappy and depressed. Nonetheless, being directly surrounded by people 24/7 will make you go crazy as well. 

"I'm just not the type of person to be on his own" is probably the worst excuse you could possibly have. If you're "not the type of person" then learn to become one - nothing is worse than people who can't stand being alone with themselves. YOU must be your best company, because this is the only one that you will have forever and always. Your friends won't always be available for you to do whatever you want. This shouldn't restrict you from doing whatever you like. YOU are the only person who is able to design your life. Don't make it depending on other's timetables. 

Going to the cinema or to the club alone is regarded to be out of the norm. You need to stop caring about what other people think of you. Believe me, no guts no glory. Doing stuff on your own will make you stronger, more confident about yourself and make people admire you for your guts. Isn't that something we want to achieve?

Risk the soleness and get out of the comfort zone. Go on the journey to a better understanding of your preferences. Challenge yourself once a month to go on a date with yourself.
Look at the little list I've come up with and start with what scares you least. After some time you will definitely feel how relaxing, challenging and rewarding it is to experience the world - alone.   

ideas of public activities you once should have done completely alone:

- going to the gym/ swimming/... (sportive activities in general)
- cinema
- museums
- travelling
- eating in a restaurant
- chilling in a park
- attending a voluntary classes (cooking classes, language classes,...)
- going to a bar for afterwork drinks
- strolling through your city and take photos
- attend a public speech/ concert/ theater

Tell me your further ideas about what to do alone in public!

Nice stuff in addition:

11 Reasons Why Travelling Alone Will Make You A Stronger Person -

Why You Can’t Stand To Be Alone — And How To Learn To Love It / Huffington Post

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